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Rita Rudner Quotes Part 3 Date: Sent Friday, October 3, 2025 Category: None

Rating: 4.00/5 (4 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.

Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.

When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

- From AZquotes.com

Received from Wayne Onaka.