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Monday, April 29, 2024 |
Even More Funny Quotes 1 of 2  
Date: Sent Monday, December 4, 2023
Category: None | Rating: 4.46/5 (56 votes)
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Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He is from India and is very concerned about my car
warranty.
I choked on a carrot this morning, and all I could think of was, "I'll bet a doughnut wouldn't have done this to me."
Nothing spoils a good story more than the arrival of an eye witness. (Mark Twain)
I finally realize why I look so bad in pictures. It's my face.
It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I'm a nice person.
Sorry that I'm late. I got here as soon as I wanted to!
It turns out that when asked who your favorite child is, you're supposed to pick out one of your own. I know that now.
It's fine to eat a test grape in the produce section, but you take one bite of rotisserie chicken and it's all, "Sir, you need to leave!"
One thing no one ever talks about, when it comes to being an older adult, is how much time we devote to keeping a cardboard box because it is, you
know, a really good box.
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's seven years in a row now.
If you drop something when you were younger, you just picked it up. When you're older and you drop something, you stare at it for just a bit
contemplating if you actually need it anymore.
I like to make lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter, and then guess what's on the list when I am at the store.
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No, you only think about yourself.
My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally I serve turkey, but, hey, if it will make them happy.
Ask your doctor if a drug with 32 pages of side-effects is bad for you.
Received from Becky Day.
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