GCFL.net: Good, Clean Funnies List
Quick Search
 Welcome
 How To Help Us
>View Funnies
 Archive Index
 Search Funnies
 Mailing List
 Site Map
 News
 FAQ
 Contact Us
 Reprints

Receive the Daily Funny Email


Make a donation with PayPal

View Funnies Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Previous Funny
Previous
Funny
Email to a Friend
Email to
a Friend
Archive Index
Archive
Index
Go to Random Funny
Random
Funny
Printer friendly
Printer
friendly
Next Funny
Next
Funny

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
Date: Sent Monday, February 19, 2024
Category: None
Rating: 2.92/5 (39 votes)
Click a button to cast your vote
012345

Human beings only use ten percent of their brains. Ten percent! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other sixty percent?

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Now, I'm no scientist, but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.

If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.

The word "yoga" literally means "uniting," because when you're doing it you are uniting your mind and your body. You can tell this almost immediately because your mind will be thinking, "Ouch, that hurts," and your body will say, "I know." And your mind will think, "You have to get out of this position." And your body will say, "I agree with you, but I can't right now. I think I'm stuck."

So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.

- From AZquotes.com

Received from Wayne Onaka.


© Copyright 1996-2024, GCFL.net.
Make a donation with PayPal