The Good, Clean Funnies List

GCFL Donation Drive

2010-02-09T02:00:00-05:00

Do you enjoy GCFL.net? Then why not donate a dollar or two to help keep things running? Please go to the donation drive page for all the details. Thanks for your help!

Good Reason

2010-02-09T02:00:00-05:00

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 -- but then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. The officer said, "It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.

Pass It Along

2010-02-08T02:00:00-05:00

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly he stopped, grinned and said, "Oh, but I've told you this one before, haven't I?"

We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message.

"What do you mean?" he replied. "I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me."

"But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!"

Suddenly we realized what had happened. Sheepishly we returned to our table. The boss smiled and said, "Don't worry. After the second kick I figured it wasn't for me, so I passed it along!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

GCFL Donation Drive Starts Today

2010-02-06T02:00:00-05:00

It's that time again! About once every six months or so, we humbly ask for a small donation to keep things running here at GCFL.net.

Wait! Before you run off to unsubscribe from the list thinking, "I thought they said this thing was free!!!" let me reassure you: GCFL IS, AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN FREE! There is no obligation to pay for GCFL mailings.

It does cost money to run GCFL.net (just like everything else), but instead of peppering the mailings with advertisements every day, we prefer to just ask for a small donation. If we do a good job, some people will be willing to donate a dollar or two, and if we keep our costs down, it will be enough.

Since 1996, we've been mailing good, clean funnies to GCFL members, and they have always come through wonderfully, giving when they can.

We receive emails and letters nearly every day from members saying how much they enjoy GCFL, and how it helps them start their day. It seems people from 12 to 101 (seriously!) enjoy our funnies, and we sure enjoy making GCFL what it is.

We only ask for one dollar because we feel it's not too much to ask, and just about everyone should be able to handle it. However, if you can't afford it, don't worry about it! We'll continue the best we can. On the other hand, feel free to send a little more if you like!

So, if you feel so inclined, please send your donation to:

GCFL
Box 100
Harvest, AL 35749
USA

Send a dollar bill (or two) (yes, it's OK to send cash in the mail for this purpose), or if you want to, write checks to "GCFL." You can also use PayPal (www.paypal.com) if you prefer. Please use email address gcfl@gcfl.net. Remember PayPal charges 2.9% + 30 cents for each transaction, so maybe you PayPal people can send $1.34 to cover that cost? It's your call.

Thanks for helping us keep GCFL alive and kicking!

John Price
GCFL Director

Marine Recruiter

2010-02-05T02:00:00-05:00

Serving as a Marine recruiter in western North Carolina, I found a young man who met all the requirements and was ready to enlist. I explained the importance of being truthful on the application, and he began filling out his paper work. But when he got to the question "Do you own any foreign property or have any foreign financial interests?" he looked up at me with a worried expression. "Well," he confessed, "I do own a Toyota."

We enlisted him the next day.

-- Contributed to Reader's Digest, "Humor In Uniform," by MSgt. Patrick L. Jacks

Received from Ed.

Shhhh!

2010-02-04T02:00:00-05:00

On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with intense gestures, apparently in a heated debate. The man said something; and the woman seemed upset. She started signing her reply very fast, to the point where the man couldn't understand a word; she also signed in big, wide gestures, which is the equivalent of volume.

Finally, looking strained, her companion took her hands, "silencing" her. Then he signed, very small and slowly: "You don't have to shout, I'm not blind."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.